A New View of You!
Relationships: the good, the bad, the ugly.
Some are good; even great. Others are bad and very dysfunctional. Relationships can also be ugly – the ones we try to stay away from.
Did you know that most problems we face in life have to do with difficulties in relationships? These include marriage and family; employee and employer. Problems that we have with others can impact our relationship with God and vice versa.
Good relationships begin with us. God wired us for relationships. The value and essence of good relationships lies deep within our hearts. The choice is ours to breathe life or death into relationships.
There are times when we become our own worst enemy in sabotaging relationships. This can result in a breakdown in our ability to accept and love ourselves. To compensate for this we often wear masks to hide our true identity. We can play games with our emotions to disguise our true feelings. We can build walls around our lives that safely block-out the influences of others, whether good or bad.
Jill works hard as an executive secretary for a law firm. When she comes home to her husband and son, she retreats to the study where she surfs the internet for hours. On the weekends, she spends most of her time shopping and doing things away from home. On the surface, Jill’s family doesn’t seem to care that she remains detached, both emotionally and physically. This is probably because when she’s home, she is withdrawn and easily angered. Any form of indifference or conflict quickly sends her to the study – her safe haven from turmoil and the pressures of this world.
Jill has problems accepting herself. These problems make it difficult for her to accept and love others, including her family. Holding relationships at arms-length is her way of dealing with her poor self-image. Until she learns to accept and love herself, she will never be fully able to connect in meaningful relationships with others.
One of the ways people compensate for the problem of a poor self-image is through the wearing of “phony-bologna” masks that hide their authenticity. According to Alan Loy McGinnis in his book, The Friendship Factor, “We vacillate between the impulse to reveal ourselves and the impulse to protect ourselves with a blanket of privacy. We long both to be known and to remain hidden.”
But how do we break free from a poor self-image and learn how to accept and love ourselves, regardless of flaws and shortcomings?
Many of us need what I call a “new view of you!” According to Genesis 1:26, we are all created in the image of Almighty God. We are all quite unique. And to prove this, God offers physical proof.
As a former FBI trained fingerprint technician, I learned that no two people have the same fingerprints. This is God’s way of saying, “I broke the mold when I created you! No other person was, is, or will ever be like you, ever!”
Remember the old saying, “God don’t make junk.” Well, it’s true! Maybe it’s time for us to stop judging ourselves according to worldly self-centered, egotistical, competitive standards. Maybe it’s time for us to start accepting our appearance and quit judging our body according to magazine covers. Perhaps we should stop beating-up our self when we make a mistake. We need to realize that failure is not fatal.
God made each of us for a divine purpose. He has plans and a mission for us; specifically designed according to our gifts, talents, and temperament. All of this works in conjunction with the relationships we encounter in life.
We must keep in mind that learning to love and accept our self according to God’s design does not exempt us from personal change. We simply cannot say, “Well, that’s the way God made me; like it or not.” Accepting a “new view of you” gives us a passport to personal growth. This may be the beginning of the transformation that God promises for all of us.
Perhaps it’s time to let go and let God transform your life.
